Feeling Uncomfortable for $20 or Less

If you think about it, restaurants are a sort of extension of our own kitchen/dining rooms. We go to restaurants to celebrate birthdays and other special events, to gather with friends and family, to get to know potential significant others, or to just take a break from cooking for ourselves. People talk about rather private things in restaurants although they are surrounded and served by complete strangers. They expect to be afforded a large amount of privacy, and only accept interruption in order to select an entree or have their drinks refilled, etc. Accordingly, there is a large amount of trust placed in the waiter/waitress to respect this delicate balance between the publicity of the setting and the privacy of the individual tables.

But this is not the case in Hibachi restaurants. These eateries have a style all their own that breaks almost all the unwritten rules in the social contract between patrons and the traditional American sit-down restaurant.



When you walk in to a Hibachi grill like Benihanas, Asuka, or Teppanyaki steakhouse, it appears to be a somewhat normal Asian fusion restaurant. But you may be surprised when you are seated around a grill, in a sort of u-shaped formation, with complete strangers. While your seating arrangement is awkward and increases the difficulty of having an intimate conversation unless you are seated right next to the other members of your party, this is probably not the most “offensive” thing to happen to you in the course of your meal.

Thankfully there is a traditional waiter who takes your drink, appetizer, and meal order, but after the waiter brings you your beverage and any appetizers you may have requested, you never see him again until he brings you the check. And before you can fully appreciate just how dear an unassuming waiter can be, your chef replaces him. The chef comes traipsing up to your table in a costume that is something of a cross between a traditional Japanese drummer outfit and the Swedish Chef’s getup on “The Muppet Show”. Wheeling a cart loaded with assorted raw meats, seafood, vegetables, and sauces, in addition to some very loud, very sharp machete-style cooking utensils, he breaks the isolation and peace of your table with little to no warning.



But just when you think your restaurant experience has fallen completely into anarchy, your chef proceeds to talk to you for your whole meal, make fun of the people in your group, tell incredibly lame-to-the-point-of-being-awkward jokes, throw food at you, give you other people’s food and basically break every other unwritten rule concerning dining out in the United States.

Although you may leave with a satisfied stomach, you also take with you a somewhat shell-shocked feeling. A sort of parting gift from the restaurant, this complimentary combination of violation and discomfort is the Hibachi version of a breath mint with your check.

I don't understand why people enjoy going to these places. I’m sorry but your chef is not supposed to make your food in front of you, and he is certainly not supposed to talk to you throughout your meal. Would you be comfortable with a complete stranger barging into your dining room while you’re enjoying a private family conversation over a meal? What if he started throwing food at you? Would you call the police? I think so.